Expand Your Sad Girl Autumn Horizons

The season of mist and mellow fruitfulness is upon us, and we must acknowledge that the mellowest of all fruits is the pumpkin. It it time, then, to grab a PSL and transition, as the leaves are, into new versions of ourselves with appropriate reading, listening, and pastimes. Here are some tips, fresh from the oven, to get you ready to enjoy your ‘sad girl autumn’, recognising that you may be bored with the same old offered to you under this umbrella yet keen to revel in the tropes and treasures we can find in the basic.

For the uninitiated, ‘sad girl autumn’ is the natural follow-on from ‘hot girl summer’, and is designed to appreciate the lengthening nights, dreary weather, return to school, and looming festive season. It revels in autumnal colours, muted tones, gentle hues; it is a communal experience of loneliness; it is a label given unto us yet worn with pride. ‘Sad girl autumn’ also follows on from ‘hot girl summer’ in being for the basic girls, and allows us as a society to acknowledge more than one flavour of woman. Some girls like to be hot and dance on beaches in Zante; some girls like to dress in layers and walk around in headphones. Many girls enjoy both – these are the feminine urges that carry us along, beating on, making us boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into moods dictated by the weather. Enjoyment can be a shared or private experience, and ‘sad girl autumn’ revels in the joy of alone time, parodying the idea that women who do not perform enjoyment or who like unhappy things are all, without fail, sad. ‘Sad girl autumn’ should, ideally, acknowledge the connections between the ‘hot girl’ and the ‘sad girl’: as the ‘hot girl’ is on summer break from college, the ‘sad girl’ gets back to her schoolwork; as the ‘hot girl’ likes frivolous things like fashion and pop music and self-care, so does the ‘sad girl’, just with a different flavour – her self-care is candles, not drinking water, and her pop music is Lana del Rey not Megan Thee Stallion. Womanhood is in many ways performative, and whilst the unifying female experience is often characterised by pain, unfairness, and things done unto us, there is a feminine experience which revels in womanhood, or girlhood, acknowledging and justifying emotionality, softness, and pleasure in things that women have made popular.

Practicing ‘sad girl autumn’ is, therefore, an act of pleasure and community. Women* should not be afraid to like what they like, to change when it’s appropriate, to match or create social cues. This article takes the basic (pun intended) ideas inherent in ‘sad girl autumn’ and uses them as a jumping-off point to explore how you might engage with your femininity as the change in season seems to urge.

The ‘sad girl autumn’ playlist

• The reigning queen of ‘sad girl autumn’ is Taylor Swift. She embodies the spirit of the season by pairing sad lyrics with pop backing, by marrying pop-punk, folk, and singer-songwriter with pure pop sounds to create a layered, nuanced, but to the external critic basic auditory experience. You need her like you need Lana, because Sad Girl Autumn is about self-identification, and they proclaim loudly that they are Sad Girls. Swift’s season, by rights, begins in August, but we ride with her into seasonal transition and blast her music into our frontal cortexes until we are the autumn leaves, scrawled in IM Fell into a junk journal.
• Look for covers of Paul Simon songs. The yearning Simon writes into his music, covered by young women, is a perfect signpost for a ‘sad girl autumn’ discography, from Sandy Denny to Everything But The Girl to all manner of other people you weren’t expecting, sad girls respect a sad boy who thinks he’s second best.
• Look for idealised portrayals of womanhood: manic pixie dreamgirls, breakup songs, and wistful love-from-afar ballads will get you thinking about what womanhood is to you. Think of that quintessential female experience: telling somebody they’re pretty in the bathroom of a bar and having them fix your makeup. Also, think of the lesbians – there’s a lot of gay women on my autumn rotation, because WLW live in the female experience wholly, revelling in its glory and seeing all of its pain.
• There are plenty of transitional musicians: Charli XCX, for example, is an unabashed ‘hot girl‘ but there are many ‘sad girl‘ songs to be found in her discography. Likewise Lil Nas X seems, on the surface, to be an aesthetic baddie but reveals a kernel of ‘sad girl‘ on repeated listens, and Kali Uchis peppers her ‘hot girl‘ discography with ‘sad girl‘ sentiments. Raye is a ‘sad girl‘ with a ‘hot girl‘ career and Lorde oscillates between ‘sad‘ and ‘hot‘. Keep your summer loves in autumn is what I’m saying: women contain multitudes.
• The heavy hitters of a ‘sad girl’ experience are (apart from Ms Swift and Ms del Rey) boygenius, Arlo Parks, Hozier, Harry Styles, fka twigs, Noah Kahan, and Mitski. Anyone associated with Taylor Swift (from Snow Patrol to any of Aaron Dessner’s projects) is a good idea for a ‘sad girl’ listen.
• I myself am too old for Billie, but I respect her ‘sad girl’ credentials. Although she is a little too cool to truly be one of us she is introspective, and therefore she can sit with us. The same is true of many young pop girlies, and across genre too. Nobody is too good to be sad.
• Whatever your opinion on TayLana, you should see that they are first are foremost songwriters. When searching the annals of music history for sad girl listens, we should be combing for female singer-songwriters and letting their guitar-girl vibes infect us. Everyone from Sandy Denny to The Bangles have shared sad girl songs, and Sad Girl Autumn is something that has called to the female experience since time immemorial.
• You should be listening to oldies! As much as it pains me to call Oasis and Girls Aloud ‘oldies’ we must defer to the teen tastemakers of today and cherrypick the most radio-friendly sad songs of our youths to fill our ‘sad girl’ playlists to find danceable exhortations of painful emotion. Learn from the Barbie movie: look backwards to look inwards.
• If you’re not sure what’s a ‘sad girl autumn’ vibe, I threw together a playlist. It is mainly Taylor Swift.

The ‘sad girl autumn’ activities

• What are you journalling with, babe? If you don’t like to write, try a junk journal. If you do like to write, invest in some nice ink. Grab yourself a sketchbook and some stickers and make lists, or share your feelings with nobody, or just make it look pretty. If you don’t enjoy collage, try other handcrafts like knitting, quilting, model-making, beading. Anything you can think of will have an entry-level kit, and it’s completely fine to buy something from the gifting market – from a fancy notebook to a sock-cat-kit – for yourself.
• See below to think about cooking, but do also consider it an activity.
• There is, too, a Sad Girl Autumn watchlist – Over The Garden Wall, Bright Star, Studio Ghibli films, Gilmore Girls  – these all share a wistfulness and appreciation of beauty that the Sad Girl Autumn encourages. Why not try a new, sad anime or a classic film? Make sure it’s famous or easily accessible – one of the nicest things about Sad Girl Autumn is that when you go back to work and talk about what you did on the weekend the conversation isn’t excluding anybody.
• Invest time in your coffee or tea routine. Whether that’s finding a nice café, taking a beverage out and about with cute gloves on, or making matcha or dalgona coffee in your own house, slow it down and appreciate it with every sense.
• Reading is the core Sad Girl Autumn activity. Let the other sad girls tell you what to read this season, or let your own taste in reading decide your next read. Core themes that appeal to me during autumn (and the rest of the year if I’m honest) are dark academia, yearning sadness, and perhaps a little magical realism.
• Video games are the other thing you’ll need. Something cosy, but accessible, like Animal Crossing, Pokémon, or Hello Kitty Island Adventure is sure to be fun, and there are endless indie titles that feel Sad Girl Autumn, like Spiritfarer, Night in the Woods, and Calico, meaning whatever experience you’re seeking you will have a delightful time.
• Talk on the phone, old school style. You can chat to friends or family without seeing them, meaning you can craft and alleviate loneliness or just give your attention and care to people without it sapping all of your energy.

The ‘sad girl autumn’ diet

• You must have a hot beverage in hand at all appropriate times. Of course, pumpkin spiced lattes (now available at other retailers than Starbucks) is the king of the season of the sad girl, but a good, malty cup of tea is a wonderful substitute, as is any retailer’s seasonal offering (I have so far sampled cinnamon bun, maple hazel, caramel cookie, and some kind of seasonal mocha). The trick is to be basic enough to make a barista’s eyes roll: sweet syrups, more milk (or vegan milk) than coffee, only one brand of teabag good enough for you – find something and run with it. Try ordering an off-menu item like a London Fog or, if all else fails, enjoy a hot squash in your home.
• Many sad girls enjoy cooking, and it is an ideal way to commune with the season. Good things to cook include chunky soups, pies, and one-pot oven dishes: the idea is to appreciate low-effort, high-reward foods and seasonal flavours. The process should be rustic, yet the outcome peasanty and rich. It is a season for a gentle dollop here and there, for rough chopping, and for changing things up with new herbs and spices. Now is not the time to go gentle on flavour or carefully count how long a swordfish steak has been cooking – instead you should aim to once in a while get up from the book you’re reading to stir the stew in the dutch oven on the stove.
• If you must buy food out, consider the ‘sad girl autumn’ values inherent to a food. Say no to the bright, refreshing poke bowl and the sweet char of outdoor-grilled BBQ foods and instead embrace crumbs, spices, nutty flavours, and yoghurty richness.
• As the ‘hot girl’ refused the idea of the delicate femme by cavorting, so does the ‘sad girl’ reject old-fashioned morals by throwing out the diet. Eat kale if you like it (and it’s a perfect, dark autumnal flavour, so it does come recommended), but don’t feel compelled to, nor should you feel compelled to share that pizza or only eat half your massive breakfast toastie. Snack on popcorn and mixed nuts and hot lattes. ‘Sad girls’ reserve the right to eat as much as they want, and to box up the rest for tomorrow.

The ‘sad girl autumn’ Halloween

The crowning glory of the season is Halloween. How can a celebration be made ‘sad girl’? How are you going to celebrate in a way that feels authentic, where the enjoyment is interior, how can you both revel and reflect?

• Your costume is a hallmark: it should be obscure or homemade or both. ‘Sexy animal ears’ is the domain of the ‘hot girl’ – you should be thinking more in the vein of ‘sexy Gandalf‘ or ‘sexy Gregor Samsa‘. Can you turn a piece of cardboard into a Taylor Swift lyric or do an on-point recreation of a photograph not everyone will get? Sexy is fun and good, but if you can get humour or your own gratification in there too then you’re thinking like a ‘sad girl’.
• There are so many ‘sad girl’ halloween activities, from campy horror movies to artistic pumpkin carving to watching Phoebe Bridgers sing Nightmare Before Christmas live to crafting your own decorations. Make the celebration what you want, either alone or with friends.
• If you’re going out, remember that you’re here to have your own good times: ask the bartender to make you something only you like (props if it’s cheaper than cocktails), dance by yourself to the slow songs, request the most wistful of breakup songs, do your dad-est dance moves, and, if all else fails, whip a book out of your handbag.

The queens: ‘sad girl autumn’ icons

• Audrey Horne. Crafted her own mythos wholesale and enjoyed time by herself.
• Sally Albright and her BFF Marie. Kvetching is an activity in itself, and nobody with hair that unruly and sweaters that varied could be anything but a queen in the ‘sad girl’ space. Meg Ryan will see you through Sad Girl season.
• Rory Gilmore. In a constant state of emotional disarray, but still working to get what she wants, and all whilst living an idealised New England private school life. The vibes are immaculate.
• Bella Swan – yes, sad girls, we must remember that this is a season to embrace the basic. The nostalgic. The mocked.
• Stevie Nicks. The hint of witchcraft, the evident rage and sadness and frustrated desire tied into the femininity and friendship and the chaos of Fleetwood Mac. The acceptance that aesthetics are no lesser focus than other forms of creativity, and are powerful in dialogue with them. Truly, the elder stateswoman of ‘sad girl autumn’.

*As ever, girls, boys and theys are included in this sentiment, but as a woman I write from a female perspective.

On This Topic:

• Whatever your ‘basic’ pick for Sad Girl Autumn, there’s a way to dive deeper into it: tea and coffee, journalling, or cooking, whatever brings you joy is communal online.
• I am not the only person who grabs ‘Sad Girl Autumn’ with both hands. Or questions it, or even both.
• I made too many literary allusions in this post and probably should be stopped.

Today’s Culture:

• A hot girl is coming into autumn season! Look out for Cardi B’s new record.
• Going back to short books so I don’t lose my concentration now I’m peak busy again.
• I trot it out every year, and this year is no different: long live Defender of the Basic.

To-Do:

• Acquire my academic dress for work
• Print timetables (yes, it is indeed a fresh school year)
• Finish edits on submittable chapter for Brookes.